The 4 "Biohacks" That Are Actually Making You Weaker (And What Your Ancestors Knew That We've Forgotten)

Look, if you're reading this, you came to the right place.

Our team has spent years diving deep into the research, questioning the trends that everyone else blindly follows, and calling out the emperor when he's wearing no clothes. We're the ones who aren't afraid to ruffle feathers in the biohacking community – because your health matters more than Instagram likes.

Remember when the entire biohacker community lost their minds because I questioned methylene blue? The angry DMs, the "you don't understand the science" comments, the accusations of being "anti-optimization"?

Yeah, that was fun. 🤣

But here's what I've learned after years of watching health trends come and go: The louder the hype, the deeper you need to dig into the actual research. And when you do? You often find that these "revolutionary biohacks" aren't just useless – they could be actively harming you.

So today, I'm doubling down. Let's talk about the four "biohacks" that the optimization obsessed crowd swears by – the ones that might actually be making you weaker, sicker, and ironically, less optimized than your great-grandmother who never heard the word "biohack" in her life.

The Starvation Cult: Why Caloric Restriction Is Built on Bad Science

Here's where it all started: Some researchers fed monkeys the equivalent of processed cereal and vegetable oil, then acted shocked when the monkeys who ate less of this garbage lived longer. The University of Wisconsin study became gospel in longevity circles. "Eat less, live longer!" became the rallying cry.

But here's what they don't tell you at biohacking conferences: When researchers replicated that exact same experiment with actual food – you know, what monkeys are supposed to eat – the life extension benefits completely disappeared.

Let that sink in. The entire caloric restriction movement is based on eating less junk food, not less real food.

Yet here we are, with "longevity experts" proudly posting about their 1,200-calorie days while secretly popping testosterone replacement therapy and a pharmacy's worth of supplements just to maintain basic biological function. If you need 100+ pills to counteract your diet strategy, maybe – just maybe – your strategy is the problem.

The fasting obsession? Even more concerning. Your body is already doing autophagy 24/7 – it's not some special state you unlock by skipping breakfast. You trigger it through sleep, exercise, even eating glucose (plot twist!). But what the fasting evangelists won't mention is the emerging evidence of negative cardiac remodeling from intermittent fasting. Your heart literally gets weaker. Time-restricted eating under 8 hours daily? Associated with a 91% higher risk of cardiovascular death according to 2024 NHANES data.

But sure, keep bragging about your 72-hour fasts while your hormones crash and your muscles waste away.

The Supplement Industrial Complex: When "Longevity Compounds" Age You Faster

With all due respect to the supplement pushers – and I mean this in the kindest way possible – many of them look like they're aging in dog years while preaching about their "youth-preserving" stack.

Resveratrol? It's a xenoestrogen. You're literally disrupting your hormones in the name of longevity. NMN and NR, those expensive NAD+ boosters everyone's obsessed with? They increase NAM, which depletes your methylation capacity by consuming methyl groups from SAMe. Translation: You're messing with your DNA methylation to chase a biomarker that healthy metabolism naturally optimizes.

And Metformin – healthy people taking diabetes medication because some researcher suggested it might extend lifespan? This French lilac-derived plant toxin comes with a laundry list of side effects: B12 deficiency, testosterone suppression, and potential birth defects in male babies.

The irony? The healthiest, most vibrant people I know take exactly zero of these compounds. They just eat real food, move their bodies, and trust millions of years of evolution over the latest PubMed abstract.

The mTOR Phobia: How Fear of Growth Is Creating a Generation of the Frail

This might be the most dangerous trend of all. The longevity crowd is so terrified of mTOR activation that they're avoiding protein and popping rapamycin – an immunosuppressant designed for organ transplant patients.

Let's be crystal clear: mTOR isn't your enemy. It's what builds and maintains your muscles, strengthens your bones, and gives you the physical resilience to survive life's inevitable challenges. You know what actually kills people as they age? Falling and breaking a hip because they have the muscle mass of a 12-year-old.

To properly activate mTOR, you need 3-4 grams of leucine per meal. That's 8 ounces of quality beef. Or, if you're plant-based, over a pound of lentils (good luck with that digestive adventure).

The people avoiding mTOR look exactly like you'd expect – frail, weak, and one bad fall away from a life-changing injury. Meanwhile, our ancestors who never heard of mTOR but ate plenty of protein? They stayed strong and capable well into old age.

The Stress Addiction: When "Recovery" Becomes Another Stressor

Don't get me wrong – I'm not completely against cold plunging and saunas. But when you're already training hard, eating right, and managing life stress, adding two more intense stressors isn't optimization. It's overtraining with extra steps.

Your body has a finite stress capacity. Every cold plunge, every sauna session, every workout – they all draw from the same tank. And when that tank overflows? Your cortisol goes through the roof, your recovery tanks, and you wonder why you feel worse despite doing "all the right things."

Use these tools strategically, not religiously. Let objective metrics guide you – hormone panels, HRV, actual performance markers. Not what your favorite influencer posted this morning.

The Real Biohack: What 300,000 Years of Human Evolution Already Figured Out

Here's the uncomfortable truth the optimization industry doesn't want you to hear: We're never going to hack our way out of mortality. Death isn't a bug in the system – it's a feature of the human experience.

So maybe it's time to reframe the question. Instead of "How can I live longer?" let's ask "How can I live better?"

You want the real biohacks? The ones that actually work? They're not sexy. They're not Instagrammable. They won't get you invited to podcasts. But they're what every thriving human population has done throughout history:

Eat meat, organs, plants, fruit, honey, and raw dairy. Build deep, meaningful relationships. Move your body in ways that feel good. Get sunlight on your skin. Sleep when the sun goes down. Play. Laugh. Love.

Your ancestors didn't need a continuous glucose monitor to know if fruit was good for them. They didn't calculate their leucine intake or time their eating windows. They just lived in accordance with nature's rhythms – and they were stronger, more resilient, and arguably happier than our supplement-popping, cold-plunging, perpetually optimizing modern selves.

Let's Talk

Look, I get it. The appeal of biohacking is real. Who doesn't want to feel superhuman? But real optimization isn't about adding more interventions – it's about removing the barriers to what your body naturally wants to do: thrive.

If you're tired of chasing the latest trend only to feel worse, you came to the right place. Our team takes a research-driven, ancestrally-informed approach that honors both modern science and timeless wisdom. We're not here to sell you another supplement or gadget. We're here to help you remember what optimal health actually feels like.

Because here's the thing: Your ancestors were the original biohackers. They just called it living.

Ready to feel better without the nonsense? Let's talk.